Is it all worth it?

 Listening to the story on how a patient of mine who's wife faced the ordeal of a downhill battle against cervical cancer, and experienced it myself seeing my aunt whom I attended to during her 9 months battle with pancreatic cancer, my heart tells me that nobody deserves to die from cancer.
I believed a person have died on the inside the moment they've been diagnosed to have cancer.
The memories of my aunt's weary stare each time she walked into my consultation room,the look on her face, her reluctant smile that greets each time she sees me, all those memories still lingers at the back of my head, still remain vivid as ever.

Though she isn't my mother, but her warmth, comfort, soft an genuine self was motherly. So much so that though I called her auntie, I held her hand and sat by her side while the drip was running. I was the one who administered the IV drip as she often gets dehydration. but it felt so naturally being more than just a nephew to her. Someone much closer. Someone that warms your heart. Her passing, till today remained unsettled within me. I can't believe she's no longer around.
From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely  do not wish anyone would have to go though what she went through from the day I told her of her diagnosis last June until her passing last March.
Out of sincerity, I hoped to create  a public awareness by going through all measures, by lowering the cost of vaccination, creating a blog purely for those who genuinely seeking out information regarding cervical cancer,  organizing awareness and prevention campaigns.
To be frank, I was feeling rather hopeful until reality hits me.
For the past 1 week has been, bad. I felt being taken advantage of, being made a fool of, being condemned, like for what purpose am I doing this if no is taking this seriously?
I had a middle age lady who came with her daughter last week for the vaccination and Thin prep Pap Smear, which both I have reduced the price. Yet, the mother was reluctant and tries to negotiate for a lower price! She claimed she didn't bring enough money, and that they are poor, all the crap she told me about blood investigation being so expensive, that I should charge her lower price, yet, when she flipped her wallet, i noticed she owns a gold credit card!

I felt cheated, and being taken advantage of.
Another lady who knew about the Cervical Cancer Prevention Weekend, were I purposely reduced the price of Thin Prep Pap Smear from RM90 to RM45. The price promotion lasted only during the week.

RM45 is  the cost price which the lab charges the doctor.

Not only am I not making any profit out of this, but i am bearing the cost of the disposable speculum used, the electricity to run the refrigerator where I store the vaccines,etc. Even after the campaign, i only kept the cost for Thin Prep at RM60 instead of RM90.
I don't think she can't afford to pay RM60! In fact, she claimed I agreed to charge her RM45 even after the campaign. I've checked through the mail and there wasn't any that i ever mentioned to her about RM45.
The the worst thing I got to know is that some other blogger who hold grudges against GSK blogged about my content, and totally twisted and turned the entire fact,mentioned my name, took photos from my blog despite the copyright as per written in the disclaimer.
To that particular blogger who claimed I advertised GSK's product within my clinic when I'm not supposed to, but I sincerely think he's making a fool out of himself for not getting his facts right about medical law in Malaysia. You CAN advertise anything within the vicinity of your clinic. To the blogger who condemned what I do,(google dr wan cervarix, it will lead to his blog) maybe you don't have a woman with cervical cancer, and I doubt you got the entire facts on Cervarix. What are the odds of you knowing more than world renown gynecologist in Asia Pacific region regarding this vaccine?
I got to know people who really wanted to get themselves protected, even at RM165, the price is still a little steep for them. They've had to save up to get themselves vaccinated. I've confided to one of my family members, that perhaps I could lower down the price for them, but the answer that i got was rather discouraging. "Perhaps if one day you're as rich as Bono or Bill Gates, then you can do charity." .... i think that is something I don't deserve to hear when I know I am not rich, nor have i even made my money yet, but that was the reason why I chose to be a doctor to begin with, not for the $.
I felt rather depressed over these incidences. There is a significant percentage of people who live within poverty standard. Why can't the government allot some funds towards them? Why are the politicians getting richer, driving RM1 million Cayenne, making a mockery in the Parliament, living a lifestyle way above their pay grades, yet they claim to represent the people, who's social and economic status hasn't changed for decades.
I am just mad. This is such an unjust world. I realized I cannot make a difference. Not at all. All the stories about about changes, or revolutions that begun with a single idea remained stories, something inspirational, only for idealist, not realist.
For those who intends to negotiate to lower the price, please don't bother coming at all.